


Learning to Let Go

by QuantumChickpea



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien in hiding, Angst, Anxiety, Bittersweet Ending, Blind!Adrien, Caring, Chaos, Comforting, Confusion, Coping, Coping Mechanisms, Crying, Cuddles, Damaged Miraculous, Dating, Death, Depression, F/M, Facing the Inevitable, Fluff, Full Reveal, Hawkmoth is gone, Headaches, Hugging, Hurt and comfort, Kissing, Ladybug is Guardian, Lasting Injury, Living, Love, Love Conquers All, Mentions of Death, Night Terrors, Nightmares, PTSD, Pain, Panic, Panic Attacks, Paris is destroyed, Romance, Sad, Sad Ending, Scar, Shakes - Freeform, Shell Shock, Sleep Deprivation, Surviving, Taking Care of Someone, Therapy, adrien needs a hug, adrienette - Freeform, blurred vision, confused, coping with losing someone, cracked miraculous, deaf!Adrien, dealing with death, death conquers love, destroyed miraculous, disoriented, dying, forced reveal, getting better, half reveal, inevitable death, ladrien, ladybug needs a hug, learning to let go, marinette needs a hug, nervous ticks, obsessive - Freeform, plagg is gone, ringing in the ears, self blaming, self injury, ticks, tremors - Freeform, trigger - Freeform, triggering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:35:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuantumChickpea/pseuds/QuantumChickpea
Summary: When Adrien comes to he only knows a few things; one, that his father is Hawkmoth, two, that a massive explosion has destroyed Paris, three, that he is lying in the street beside Ladybug, four, that he is detransformed and his Miraculous is ash in his hand, and five, that there is a pile of ash where Hawkmoth had stood and his Miraculous is gone. He won, but at what cost?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32
Collections: September 2020 - Fulfill A Prompt





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MyKeyboardDidIt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyKeyboardDidIt/gifts).



> **This was an angst prompt given by @MyKeyboardDidIt in the Miraculous Fanworks Discord Server. When he told me about the prompt I knew that I couldn't not write it. The more I learned about it... the more I felt like I needed to write it. The more in love with the plot I fell and I went to bed wanting to write it. I woke up and asked if anyone had grabbed it and no one had as far as I know. So, I started writing and running it by them. I don't know how often I'll update this because most of you know I'm pulling out of writing for the fandom, but I really... wanted to write this thing. I hope I do it justice. It will have a sad ending, but a bittersweet one.^_^ Thank you for reading!!**

Paris was in shambles with its tall ornate buildings, teaming with history, in broken pieces. Each laid cracked and broken, spilling their history and spreading it like a wildfire. The pavement and roads were split and cracked and bodies laid around the two exhausted men. 

Chat Noir panted with a wide stance as he glared up at the man that had just injured the love of his life. The one woman that brought light into his darkest days. The one woman that could make him laugh even when his father destroyed him with his lack of parenting and love. The one that made his life seem worth living and fighting for. Ladybug was lying just a few meters behind him, on her side with one knee bent and her hand lifeless against the road. Her face was bruised and cut from losing the fight with the sinister man that stood in front of him, brandishing a sword that he had pulled from his cane. 

Chat growled as anger and the need to protect his partner surged through him and drove him mad. He was beyond livid and lacked any control other than malice and hatred for Hawkmoth. He wrenched his hands around his steel staff, watching and catching every slight breath and flinch that the man in front of him was giving him.

Chat was exhausted and his muscles were sore and weak from fighting Hawkmoth for hours, days even. Nothing had worked in his favor. Nothing he had done had even given him leeway. His malicious gaze flickered to Hawkmoth, as all of his emotions balled up and turned into murderous rage. All he wanted to do was kill the man in front of him for what he had done. End it all once and for all, no matter the cost. He needed revenge for what he had done, needed some sort of justice for a seemingly lifeless Ladybug behind him. He took one last swing at Hawkmoth with his staff to no avail, failing to land it as Hawkmoth dodged out of the way, yet again, and countered it with his sword-cane. 

Chat glared at Hawkmoth, gritted his teeth, and raised his right hand. “CATACLYSM!” 

He screamed as he closed his staff and twirled it to put it back onto his lower back, running with his fist pulled back. 

Hawkmoth’s eyes grew wide and he stumbled, realizing what Chat Noir was about to do. He swiped at the air with his sword, floundering and struggling to do anything as the panic set in. Hawkmoth lost all of his grace and knowledge of swordsmanship, as he struggled to fight a broken man that had been pushed too far. 

Chat reached out and grabbed a fist full of Hawkmoth’s plum suit with his glowing fist, before punching the villain in the face. Chat and Hawkmoth looked up and down confused as to why he wasn’t disintegrating into black dust. 

Chat pulled back his hand to find the Butterfly Miraculous in his fist. The brooch glowed brighter, pulsing like a beating heart, before it burst into a bright light between them like two stars colliding in space. 

The flash and loud Earth shattering explosion knocked the two men back, blinding Chat and sending him to the ground. His side hit the street and his face scraped against the torn road. The ringing in his ears made him scream out along with the pain from being dragged across the rough ground, knocking him unconscious for a moment. He felt like he was being thrown for miles until he finally stopped, disoriented, while the feeling of burning alive kicked in through the sharp ringing. 

He sat up slightly on his elbow, causing the world to spin. His vision was blurry and something was off with one eye, that he couldn’t quite place. His face felt like it was on fire and it stung to high heaven. He reached up and felt his cheek, pulling his hand away to see his hand out of focus and covered in blood. He sat up as the sounds of Paris became muffled, screams and sobbing of injured Parisians filled the streets. The sounds of people mourning loved ones surrounded him and he lifted his hands and peered down to watch everything through a fogged lens that couldn’t focus. All he could see were splotches of red on his skin and clothing. 

He panted and his eyes widened as he slowly realized what was actually happening around him. As he realized when he opened his hand to find ash that he was no longer Chat. That the ashy remains of a Miraculous stained his ring finger and palm and caused him to panic more. He peered beside himself and sadness overwhelmed him as he found a broken injured Ladybug beside him, driving him to stand up and keep fighting regardless of his lack of powers. 

Adrien groaned and screamed out in pain as he forced himself to his feet, favoring his left side because the right was broken. He limped and dragged himself over to where Hawkmoth had been, but the man was gone and in his place was someone he had hoped to never see amongst the piles of ash. Someone he had only seen as Hawkmoth in his nightmares growing up. His vision was still gone in his right eye and his other was blurry from the explosion, but he didn’t need good eyesight to know that his father was lying lifeless where Hawkmoth had been. 

Adrien fell back onto the road and scurried away from his father’s lifeless body, beaten and torn from the explosion in worse ways than he had been. He covered his mouth and tears threatened to fall. 

It was too much, everything was too much. He heard the sounds of a crumbling building and screamed, covering his head with his arms and panicking that he was going to die. He trembled with his knees to his chest and suddenly blacked out from the pain, ringing, and from the knowledge that his father had been Paris’s worst criminal in all of its history.

*******

Adrien gasped as he woke up in a familiar room that was adorned with traditional Chinese furniture and trinkets. 

“Relax. You’re going to be okay, Adrien.” A familiar garbled voice came through his thoughts and he began to scramble to grab for it’s comforting yet distorted sound. 

“I can’t hear properly.” His voice came out slightly off and sounded unfamiliar to him, shocking him further. “Why can’t I see? What’s wrong with me? What have I done?” 

Adrien felt a soft gloved hand appear between his hands as he began to make out a familiar face. “Ladybug?” 

“It’s me.” Ladybug warmly smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, taking in how the right half of his golden locks were bright white. 

“I- I need to explain. I need to tell you what happened. What I’ve done. I’ve fucked up.” Adrien burst out as his heart raced in his chest and tears spilled from his unbandaged left eye.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to talk now. We can talk later. I just need you to relax and calm down. Everything is okay.” Ladybug carefully unwrapped his bandage to change the dressing that was over his right eye. 

Adrien hissed in pain as it stuck to the wound that was caused from his body being dragged across the rough ground. “I know. I’m so sorry, Adrien.” Ladybug cringed as she cleaned the wound that covered half his face and surrounded his now silver-toned blue eye. She knew it would scar later. That he would be forever changed by the horrific event they had been through. 

“How bad is it? Be honest with me.” Adrien grumbled as he laid still for her on the futon that was on the floor. “I’m serious. How bad did I fuck up?” 

“We’ll talk-” Ladybug stopped dressing the wound when his hand shot up to grab her wrist. 

“I don’t want to talk later. I need to talk now. I need to process all of this before I go more mad than I am.” Adrien swallowed hard and hissed as she began to put an ointment that Master Fu had taught her to make on his wounds. 

The sound of someone laying their hand on a horn went off and he went into a panic, curling into himself and disrupting what Ladybug had been busy doing. 

“Adrien.” Ladybug dropped what she was doing and wrapped her arms around him, as his hands trembled and his stomach turned. 

The trembles in his hands rolled up his forearms, slowly creeping through his whole body until he was a mess and his heartbeat echoed in his ears. His breathing came out labored and he was suddenly taken back to the sounds of building crackling and cars going off from the explosion. Screams and tears of Parisians echoed out and it didn’t take long for the screaming to start coming from Adrien’s mouth as the guilt and pain of causing so many to parish kicked in.

Ladybug kept her arms around him, protectively, as she ran her fingers through his hair while he rocked in her arms and his screams turned into panicked harsh breathing as she tried to bring him out of it. He suddenly felt the need to protect her. That she shouldn’t be the one helping him. It was his job to protect her and make sure she was safe, not the other way around. 

Adrien shifted and wrapped his arms around her, knocking her to the ground and protecting her from his inner demons that felt tangible at that moment. “Adrien, you’re safe. I promise. I’m safe. I’m okay.” Ladybug reached up and touched his face, running her thumb along his cheekbone. “We’re safe here. No one knows where we are.”

Adrien licked his lips and felt his heart rate come down as she made him peer into her kind gaze. He reached up with a trembling hand and brushed his hair back, feeling a few strands catch between his fingers. Adrien sat back on his heels and peered down to find loose white strands between his fingers. His hand trembled more as he shook them from his hand in a panic. 

“Please lay down, Adrien.” Ladybug reached out and he backed up from her. 

“Tell me what’s wrong with me. _Please._ ” Adrien begged her as his back hit a thin rice paper wall. He dragged his knees up against his chest, ignoring the sharp headache that wrapped around his head or how their voices were still garbled and tangled together. “What happened to you? Something has to have happened to you. You were- you were lifeless. Laying on the ground and- and I couldn’t save you! I tried! I-”

“Adrien… I need to rebandage your wound and then I’ll tell you.” Ladybug swallowed hard as she grabbed the medical supplies again and slowly approached him. She couldn’t tell him what had happened to her. That her Miraculous was damaged and what her fate was. Not now when he was like this. He wasn’t strong enough and if she was honest, neither was she. 

Adrien peered up at her and took in the white streak of hair that adorned the front of her hair and ran back into one of her pigtails. “What happened?” His voice was weak and the sound of her stepping on a loose floorboard, sent him back into a panic. He swallowed hard and clenched his eyes shut, as his hands trembled and the sounds of crackling buildings and the ground breaking invaded his mind. 

“Watch out!” He suddenly flung at Ladybug again, knocking her to the ground. 

Ladybug touched his face again and made him look at her. “Adrien. Look at me.” 

“No, no. You’re gone. You’re not here. No one is here. It’s just me. I ruined it. I destroyed it all. It’s my fault. All my fault.” Adrien trembled and clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head in her hands with tears going down his cheeks. “I killed everyone. I destroyed Paris. It’s all my fault. I- I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t save my father.” 

“Adrien. Kitty.” Ladybug softly spoke and he recoiled faster at the nickname. 

“I’m not Chat. Chat Noir is dead. Plagg is- Plagg is gone.” Adrien burst out and Ladybug yanked him closer, ignoring the way he fought against her before calming down and breaking down in her arms. 

“It’s not your fault, Adrien. Nothing is your fault. I promise that it’s not your fault.” Ladybug ran her fingers along his back, trying to get him to stop shaking. 

“My head hurts.” Adrien sniffed as the pounding in his head wouldn’t stop. “Everything hurts.” 

“I know. I can give you something for it.” Ladybug kept her voice low and calm. 

Adrien touched her upper arm with a trembling hand and got off of her. “Why do sounds- I can’t hear anything but garbled noise yet certain things... I’m so confused.” 

“I know, Adrien. Here.” Ladybug quickly reapplied ointment to his wound and bandaged it before something else could trigger him to fall into a massive panic attack. She stood up and held her hand out for him. “I’m going to explain your injuries and we’re going to go from there. Slowly.”

“Just tell me. I don’t need to go slow. I need to- to apologize. I need to explain how I failed you. How I failed everyone.” Adrien felt his hands begin to shake again and he clenched his hands into fists to try and make the incessant trembling stop. 

Ladybug worried her bottom lip as she pushed her own struggles away from the front of her mind in favor of his. “Okay. You can explain after you drink some tea.” 

“I don’t want tea. I want to talk.” Adrien begged and stood up, being careful about where he stepped so he didn’t set off a floorboard or something worse. He slightly stumbled and Ladybug quickly grabbed his arm, stabilizing him. 

“You really need to take it easy, _please_.” Ladybug practically begged him to slow down. He needed to slow down for once. “It wasn’t- What happened wasn’t that long ago.”

Adrien froze and peered down at her, as she slipped an arm around his waist to help him walk over to the short round table that had a black teapot sitting on it. 

“How long?” Adrien swallowed hard and let her lead him over to the table. 

“A few days.” Ladybug helped him sit down on a floor cushion, hearing him let out a pained sound. 

“And you’re okay?” Adrien stared at her as she sat down, taking in the streak of white through her hair and the bandage on her cheek that didn’t seem nearly as bad as what he had wrong. 

“Y-yes. I- I’m okay.” Ladybug gave him a brave smile that hid the turmoil going on in her head. The worry about her cracked Miraculous and Tikki.

Tikki was mostly okay other than her grieving from losing someone important to her. The pain of not being able to say goodbye yanked at her heart like long claws wrapping around it and crumbling it into ash. The pain of watching him disintegrate as the Miraculous had been destroyed in one last act of murderous rage and desperation. Ladybug knew that she was struggling with living with the fact that her Kwami couldn’t say goodbye. That it was robbed from her Goddess and how much it pained her. How much having your soulmate ripped from your grasp against your will was painful. While Ladybug couldn’t fully relate because Chat Noir was still technically there, just in civilian form and battered and bruised, she still felt for the little Kwami more than she cared to have liked. It still felt like she had lost someone, even if Adrien was right there in front of her asking her for what happened. Begging to explain himself and take responsibility for it all. 

Tikki was absolutely devastated and still healing from the damage that had been done. But healing wasn’t in her cards, not in Ladybug’s at least and not in Marinette’s. There was no way that she could tell Adrien, who was already feeling at fault, that this last fight had caused her inevitable demise. She didn't want him to blame himself for one more thing. Didn’t want him to find himself guilty and obsess over finding the cure to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. Something impossible to undo. 

Ladybug poured the hot water over the loose leaf tea mixture she had made according to Master Fu’s recipe. She slowly pushed the cup across the round table to Adrien. “Here. That’ll make you feel better. At least, it might calm you down a little.” It was a mixture of herbs and tea leaves that helped with anxiety and panic disorders. She had been drinking it the last few days and it seemed to only graze the surface, but it was something at least. _Relaxation Tea_ is what Master Fu had mentioned before he had left her as the Guardian of the Miracle Box. 

Adrien’s hands trembled as he reached for the short cup, trying to grasp it without dropping it. His hands felt weak from the shaking that he couldn’t seem to make stop no matter how hard he tried to focus enough to. He swallowed hard and held the bottom of the warm ceramic cup in his palm with his other hand on the side. He brought it to his lips and gently blew along the hot liquid, causing steam to billow up and warm his face. He twitched and trembled as he brought the edge of the cup to his chapped lips. The warm floral tea felt good on his tongue as he took a hesitant sip. The liquid warmed his body as he swallowed it. He set the cup down, nearly tipping it over. 

Ladybug reached out and grabbed it before it could tip over and spill. “Good?” 

Adrien let out the breath he had been holding and gently nodded, cringing when his head throbbed from doing that. 

“The throbbing in your head, the loss of hearing, and the blurred vision are all from shell shock.” Ladybug brought her cup to her lips and he blinked and stared at her confused.

“Hang on. I’m trying to comprehend. I have a lot of jumbled thoughts. Let me walk through this.” Adrien clenched his shaking hands in and out of fists to try and make it stop. He tried to remember what had happened, and Ladybug waited for him to gather his thoughts. “It’s all tangled. I- You were laying on the ground. Paris was in chaos. Is it still chaos?” He began to worry again, causing his voice to pitch up. 

“Yes. I couldn’t fix it.” Ladybug worried her bottom lip, as the cup of tea warmed her hands. 

“Couldn’t fix it?” Adrien gave her a helpless expression. “What do you mean?” 

“Not important, just know the world isn’t how… it was before. Keep talking. What happened next, Adrien?” Ladybug brought her cup to her lips. 

“I was angry that you were hurt. Angry at Hawkmoth- my- my father. I was angry at my father!” Adrien flung his hands up to his hair and curled into himself again with his knees up against his chest. 

“What about your father?” Ladybug set her cup down and shifted around the table to sit beside him. She wrapped her arms around him as he gasped for air. 

“I- I- do-don’t kno-know. I found out- No. No, no, no.” Adrien got lost in the memory of seeing his father in the ashes. Of the fact that his father had hurt all those innocent people for years and he had been living with the man. Had hugged the man. Had his blood running through his veins. Adrien held his hands up and peered at his torn up palms with widened eyes. “You can’t be near me. Everything I touch breaks. I’m going to hurt you just like everyone else. I did hurt you. I- hurt you.” He clenched his hands into fists, digging his nails into his flesh and causing crimson liquid to bubble up around them. “I want to stop shaking, to stop this pain, to stop- just make it _stop_!” 

“It will stop. It’ll take time to heal, but it will stop. I don’t know exactly what happened because I wasn’t conscious, but I do know this. The world knows that you’re Chat Noir. Your fans know. The world has your last name on it’s lips. As far as they know, you’re dead. As far as-” Ladybug was interrupted by Adrien’s trembling broken voice.

“You feel like I killed Chat Noir.” Adrien peered at the crescent shaped cuts on his palms. “You feel like I let the world burn and everyone die within it. I’m fulfilling the prophecy. I’m no better than my father. I destroyed two Miraculouses that night and the blood of the people are on my hands and I- I can’t do anything about it.” He shook with each word as it tumbled from his quivering lips. “I let the world end.” 

“Not the whole world, Adrien. Paris is broken and in shambles, but the rest of the world is okay. You didn’t destroy everything.” Ladybug tried to ease the subject back in. “But you are blind in one eye, pretty cut up on half of your face, and suffering from hearing loss. I don- I don’t know if you’ll ever get the sight back in your right eye or gain full hearing. You also seem to have gained shell shock and-” 

“PTSD.” Adrien swallowed hard filling in the blanks for her. “And Plagg is gone. Tikki must be heartbroken because of me. _God_ , I really fucked everything up didn’t I?” 

“You didn’t do anything that I wouldn’t have done. That anyone wouldn’t have done in your place, Adrien. Don’t blame yourself for it. Please don’t.” Ladybug took his hand and ran her thumb along his palm, inspecting the new wounds from his nails. 

“It is my fault.” Adrien reached up to touch her face, grazing his thumb along the bandage on her cheek. “I hurt you.” 

Ladybug took his hand from her face and shook her head. “You didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t you, Adrien.” 

“It was. Everything happened to you and- and _everyone_ because of me. You can’t tell me that it wasn’t all because of me.” Adrien desperately peered into her eyes, wanting her to blame him. 

He was used to being blamed by his father for years. He craved being reprimanded for something he felt like was his fault, even if it wasn’t. 

“Adrien, I refuse to blame you. I have bruises and a few scratches, but I’m okay. Tikki is… hurting, but she’s okay. You just need to relax and focus on getting better for me.” Ladybug got up and walked over to grab a bottle of pills and a container of tea leaves. 

“What are those for?” Adrien swallowed hard, lifting his cup to take another long sip of the comforting liquid. 

“Pain and they’ll help you sleep easier.” Ladybug smiled at him and passed him the container. “You should take one. The last one should have worn off by now.” 

Adrien took the container and opened it, knocking one back. He closed the container and placed it back on the table. “I’m glad that you’re okay.” He weakly smiled for the first time in days at her. 

Her heart grew warm as she sat down. “I’m more glad that you’re okay and alive. You scared me.” 

“Sorry.” Adrien reached back to rub the back of his neck, peering down at the table. 

“Don’t apologize for that.” Ladybug’s eyes went wide before they relaxed and her lips turned down in an upset expression. “Please don’t.” 

Adrien slowly nodded and winced again at the pain in his head. The sound of thunder and lightning snapped, cracked, and banged around them. The flash from the lightning came through the window and the thunder vibrated through the walls, causing Adrien to curl up on the ground with his knees beneath him and his arms over his head while he screamed. Ladybug cringed and looked out the window as the rain pattered on the glass window. She quickly got up and shut the curtains hiding the flashing lights of the thunder from entering the room. She jogged over to Adrien, accidentally hitting a loose floorboard and causing it to make a cracking high pitched whine. He trembled more and Ladybug laid down on the floor beside his huddled form. 

“Hey.” Ladybug reached up to run her fingers along his spine. “That can’t be comfortable with your leg the way it is and your headache.” 

Adrien sobbed and shook as his muscles locked up and flexed, keeping him stuck in that position. “I can’t save you. I can’t save them.” 

“Things can’t go back to how they are, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t make things better. That we can’t try our hardest to fix it.” Ladybug laid on the floor and waited for his panic attack to pass. Waited for him to come back from the hell he was lost in, the memory of turmoil and death. “Things can only get better from here. You have to look at the positives. Look, Rena Rouge, Carapace, Queen Bee, Viperion? They’re still around. Most of the team is okay.” 

“But what about the rest?” Adrien weakly peeked from his folded arms and stared through his messy two toned bangs. “What about the rest of Paris?”

“Do you want me to be honest?” Ladybug worried her bottom lip and watched him hide his face again. “Adrien.” She touched his arm and tugged his hand free, bringing it between her hands and watching his pose relax a bit. “Paris… is going to need time to heal too. Like you and… me. But it will. Paris has lived through the German bombings in 1918. It has survived through many misfortunate events and illnesses like the rest of the world. It’ll survive this too. I’m sure of it. So, don’t worry. Relax.”

Thunder burst through the walls again and he gasped and yanked his hand from hers to cover his head again. Ladybug sighed and got up to grab a blanket for him. “I think you should stay here. I won’t be here at night. Tonight is an exception. My friend, Marinette, will come by on occasion to bring you supplies. I’ve asked her to be quiet and not let anyone follow her here. Okay?” 

“Marinette?” Adrien raised his head slightly as if he was shocked by her name. 

“Mm-hm. I asked her to come help me. No one else knows that you’re here. Just her and I know. I trust her with my whole heart.” Ladybug touched her chest with her hands and watched a warm smile cross Adrien’s face. She draped the soft red blanket over him. “You care about her, don’t you?” 

“Can I see her?” Adrien relaxed enough to sit up, cursing from the pain in his leg as he situated himself in a more comfortable position. He wrapped the blanket around himself and stared at her with a hopeful gaze. 

“Yes, but not tonight. Tonight I want you to lay down and try to sleep.” Ladybug warmly smiled at him, before grabbing his arm and helping him back to the futon. “Those pills should be kicking in soon.” 

Adrien tried to fight sleep as he laid down with the blanket over him. Ladybug brought an ice pack over to place on his leg and laid down beside him, running her fingers through his soft hair. “How’d you get the white streak in your hair?” 

“I don’t know. When I came to it was there.” Ladybug sighed as she played with his two toned hair. “I wish I knew why you ended up this way too.” 

Adrien continued to blink his eyes until he couldn’t stay awake anymore and the pills took him under beside her.

**Song MyKeyboardDidIt threw at me for this (one of them) and I wrote to and is a mood for this:**

[ **King For a Day- Pierce the Veil covered by NateWantstToBattle ft. LeeandLie and Ahren Grey** ](https://youtu.be/eUxVT_GwFRI)

[ **Can't Take Me Anywhere- NateWantsToBattle** ](https://youtu.be/OtFl5m-V2y8)

**and this song is one I found:**

[ **Setting Fires- The Chainsmokers ft. XYLO** ](https://youtu.be/v6IAJOOmDMg)


	2. Chapter 2

Adrien woke up to the sounds of a pan being taken out of an oven. He groaned and stretched his arms above his head, wincing at the ache in his muscles. He cringed as he heard something drop and ring along the counter, causing him to tremble and shake with his arms crossed over his head. He curled up on his side in a panic, as the sharp metallic sound echoed into the sound of a billboard coming down. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you, Adrien. I- I’m so- so sorry.” Marinette swallowed hard as she took her pink oven mitts off and hurried over to him. “Are you okay? Do you hurt?” 

“Marinette.” Adrien peeked up from his folded arms, weakly smiling up at her like she was the most gorgeous thing in the room. He used the table to get up and stumbled towards her, throwing his arms around her shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re alright!” 

“I- I’m fine. Are you alright? I was so worried about you when L-Ladybug told me about  _ mew _ , you!” Marinette’s hands trembled as she wrapped them around him, causing her heart to beat loudly in her chest. Her voice came out disoriented and he struggled to put it together without seeing her lips move.

“I’m okay.” Adrien stumbled as he pulled away and held her shoulders, looking her over. He noticed how her medium length dark hair fell around her shoulders and ghosted along the top of her shoulder blades. A few strands were an opal color that stood out amongst the strands of midnight black. His gaze ran over her scratched up cheek and brow. How they had begun to heal, but it was enough to make his heart break and feel guilty. He swallowed hard as tears burned the edges of his eyes and silently fell, while guilt nestled into the pit of his stomach. He took in her black and white striped shirt and dark red skinny jeans. She was wearing black flats and a red bow in the side of her two toned hair, holding it behind her ear on one side. 

“You’re really here.” He pulled her back into his arms again and embraced her like she wasn’t tangible, causing tears to wet her shirt. 

Marinette pulled away from him, wiped his tears away, and helped him to sit down. “Here, I brought you something to help.” 

Adrien watched her walk over with a plate of freshly baked croissants, bandages, and a book. “I know you probably don’t want this.” 

Adrien stared at her slightly confused as she sat down beside him. She put the plate down on the table for him and held the book against her chest. “What?” 

Marinette chewed on her bottom lip, “Ladybug and I thought… it’d be easier for you to start to sign. I- I’ve been learning the past few days. See?” She set the sign language book down and held her hands up, beginning to sign that she was happy he was okay. 

Adrien blinked his good eye and tried to focus on her fingers and hands. He didn’t know very many signs for things because his father had never had him learn it. He worried his bottom lip and watched her smile. 

“It’s okay to not understand. You will. I’ll help you learn it.” Marinette continued to use her hands to sign what she was saying, along with using her lips to enunciate the best she could for him.

Adrien warmly smiled at her, as she signed and told him to eat. He grabbed the croissant, as she scooted closer and reached up to undo the bandage over his eye and half his face. She cringed as she touched his chin and peered at the road rash that covered his cheeks, chin, nose, and beneath his pale blue eye. 

“Does it still hurt?” Marinette spoke slowly enough for him to understand and signed with her hands. 

“A little.” Adrien winced and tried to focus on eating, while Marinette stood up to walk to the kitchen area to throw the bandages away. 

She walked back with some ointment and sat down to gently rub it onto the wounds with her middle finger. “It’s scabbed over for the most part, which is good.” 

Adrien nodded as she touched his chin to hold his head still, while she ran her finger beneath his eye and along the cuts on his face. “Is it bad?” 

“I mean…” Marinette cringed as she traced each streak of dark red with pale pinks around them. A purple, blue, green, and yellow bruise had set in on his cheekbone and shoulder.

“Be honest.” Adrien read her expression, wiping his hand on his leg. 

“It’s pretty bad.” Marinette sighed as she went to work running more of it along his wounds. He winced and hissed as her fingertip grazed a bruise. 

“Figures.” Adrien scoffed and watched her close the bottle of ointment and set it down. His gaze followed her, as she walked to the kitchen to wash her hands and grab more croissants. 

Marinette turned to face him and used her hands to sign, “Are you thirsty?”

“Yes.” Adrien nodded, feeling his skin pull on the right side when he smiled. It tugged slightly on the healing wounds and made him wince. 

“I also brought you your favorite.” Marinette smiled as she signed it out, before she grabbed a box of passion fruit macarons. She also grabbed the hot water and a box of tea leaves on her way over to him.

Adrien peered up at her with wide eyes, as he felt his heart leap in his chest. He opened the sign language book and ran to the index looking for the word he was looking for. “Macarons?” He signed the word out and Marinette giggled. 

“Passion fruit macarons.” Marinette warmly smiled, as she set the box down and added the hot water to the small tea pot on the table. 

Adrien quickly flipped through the book and signed ‘thank you’ with his hand. “Thank you so much, Marinette.” 

“I know you love them and thought they would cheer you up. You know, since, since everything happened. I baked them so no promises that they’re amazing. I’m not the best at- at making those.” Marinette rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders with her hands in her lap, biting her bottom lip with a blush. 

Adrien opened the box with his trembling hands and pulled out one of the pastel orange macarons. “They look perfect to me.” He held one up and took in how it was slightly imperfect, but that’s what made them even better to him. Their imperfections only made him find them more flawless. 

Marinette giggled and rolled her eyes, “You don’t have to be nice to me. I know they’re not amazing. My father made better ones.” She stopped talking for a moment and covered her mouth, realizing what she had said. 

Adrien finished eating the cookie she had given him and searched how she hid in her hair. “Is your father okay?” 

Marinette cleared her throat and smiled for him. “He and my mother… they’re gone.” 

Adrien hid in his hair and trembled with his arms in his hands. “I- I’m really sorry. It’s my fault.” 

“No! No. Adrien.” Marinette got closer to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, being careful to not hurt the bruises and scrapes that covered the right side of his body. “It’s okay. They- they passed away protecting me. It’s how I got the white streaks in my hair. I was- I was too close. But it’s okay. Promise.” 

“I did it.” Adrien raised his trembling hands and watched them shake back and forth, twitching against his will. “I did this.” 

“Stop. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I brought it up. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Marinette ran her fingers through his hair. 

“Can- can I see myself?” Adrien peered up and turned his head to peer at her. “Please.” 

Marinette swallowed hard and nodded as she gently let him go to walk over and get a mirror. “Have you not seen?” 

Adrien slowly shook his head and she handed him the golden hand mirror. He gently took the mirror and held it up, peering into it. Tears welled up in his two-toned eyes, as he ran his gaze over his face. He took in how half of his hair was now white. How his right eye was an icy blue with hints of brown and turquoise, faded over with a milky white haze. How he had dark red and bruised road rash marks running down the right side of his face and part of his nose. How his neck was scratched and had some road rash, as well. Adrien picked up his right arm, setting the mirror down on the round table to begin to unwrap the dressing from it. As the bandages pulled away, they revealed bruises and dark red wounds that had scabbed over as well. He swallowed hard and dropped the bandages beside his thigh. Adrien peered down his body, realizing that he was only wearing a pair of black knit boxers.

Adrien suddenly blushed and grabbed the red blanket to shove over his lap. Marinette’s cheeks flushed and she giggled at his reaction. “It’s okay. Let me see your leg though, please.” Marinette signed with her hands in time with her words, and Adrien pulled the edge of the blanket up so she could see his leg. 

Marinette checked the massive dark purple bruises that ran along the outside of his leg. His knee was still slightly swollen. “You need ice and maybe more medical attention than we can give you.” She signed her words before getting up to grab a bag of ice for him. 

Adrien shook his head fast and winced, grabbing his head. “Shouldn’t have done that. No.” 

“It could be broken.” Marinette looked at him with a concerned expression, walking back with the bag of ice and making sure to face him when she talked.

“And it could be fine.” Adrien hissed as he covered his leg with the blanket and she moved his hands to put ice on his knee. “I’m fine.”

“Stop. You need to take it easy.” Marinette tried to knock some sense into him and held the ice pack there. 

“It’ll be okay.” Adrien grabbed another macaron from the box and took a bite of it, beginning to flip through the sign language book again. 

Marinette stood up and took his empty plate to wash it in the sink. She tripped on a crack in the floorboard and the sound made Adrien flinch. “Sorry. I’m so sorry.” Marinette worried her bottom lip, as she peered over at him. 

“It’s- it’s okay.” Adrien cleared his throat and tried to not focus on the sound, gripping his shaking hands on the book to try to make them stop. 

Marinette gently washed the dishes so that the noises didn’t get to Adrien as much. She worried her bottom lip, as she tried to not think about the fact that she was on borrowed time. Tikki had warned her that the closer to death she got, the more her hair would turn white. It was only a matter of time before she started to cough and show more signs of being ill. She reached up with one hand to graze her finger along one of her cracked stud earrings with her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“You okay?” Adrien peered over at her, flipping through the book with signs in it. 

The sounds of the pages flipping from his fingertips, grabbed her attention and distracted her from her worried thoughts.

She smiled and finished up the dishes, drying her hands on the kitchen towel before walking back over to him. “I’m okay. I just didn’t want to be too loud with the dishes.” 

“Marinette.” Adrien swallowed hard as he signed her name, watching her sit down at the table.

“Hm?” Marinette stole a macaron from the box and brought it to her lips. 

“You don’t have to be that careful around me. I- I can survive a moment of-” Adrien swallowed hard, unable to say PTSD for some reason. It was hard for him to admit that he had something like that. It made him feel weak and embarrassed, like something was wrong with him. 

“I understand. It would make me sad though. To make you upset, ya know?” Marinette signed and reached over to brush his white hair behind his ear. 

“It’s okay.” Adrien sighed and smiled for her, reaching over to grab another macaron. “These are delicious by the way. Thank you for taking care of me and baking such delicious things for me. You didn’t have to.” 

“I wanted to. Is there anything else you would like me to bring next time I come by?” Marinette warmly smiled at him, as she signed while she spoke. She watched him rub his right ring finger, where his Miraculous used to sit. “I’m sorry. You must miss him.” 

“I do, badly. I- He was my best friend.” Adrien shrugged and shyly peered up at her with a sad smile. “He was always there when I needed someone and now he’s gone.” 

“I really wish that things hadn’t ended up this way, Adrien. If I could bring Plagg back, I would.” Marinette sighed and finished her macaron, signing in time with her voice. 

“Ladybug told you about him?” Adrien nibbled on a macaron and peered down at his lap. 

“She did. She told me about him and… about you, but we don’t need to talk about it.” Marinette warmly smiled, signing her words, and poured hot water over tea leaves into two cups. 

“I would give anything to have my kwami back. Give anything to hear him say ‘kid’ one more time. Even if he drove me insane sometimes.” Adrien softly laughed as he reached for one of the cups. “He was a pain in the ass, but I loved him. He was like the fath- you know.” He hid his sadness in his cup of tea. 

“I do.” Marinette sighed and brought her cup to her lips. “I brought you some clothes that I made. They should fit. Ladybug can run by and grab some items from your room if you want.” 

“Can- can you ask her to bring me the photos of my mother? And… the sock puppet of Plagg? Those are my most important things. The rest was… what my father wanted for me.” Adrien hid in his hair and let his tears fall into his cup of tea. 

“Of course.” Marinette set her cup down and scooted closer to sit beside him. She placed her hand on his knee and smiled at him. “You’re brave, you know that? Surviving and fighting like you are? It makes you brave and I admire you for it. You did a good thing, Adrien.” She touched his chin and turned his face towards her own, as his hands trembled around the warm cup. She took the cup before he could drop it and burn himself. 

She set the cup down and he threw himself into her arms, sobbing against her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay… Don’t be sorry. You did a good thing, Adrien. You’re a hero to the world. To Paris. You did something courageous. No one is mad at you. No one blames you.” Marinette ran her hand along his spine, as he broke down and spilled tears into her soft shirt. 


End file.
